How I love thee…let me count the ways. (caution, explicit passage may not be suitable for children or overly sensitive)

Today was Lynn and I’s 8th anniversary. I forgot. Again. Of the 8 times this date has come and gone, I have remembered to do something nice five of those times. What makes things worse, I don’t do much better with birthdays. Essentially, I am a Jehovah’s Witness by practice in that I just can’t be held accountable for not celebrating these pagan observances. How close to Muslim terrorist does a Mormon Jehovah’s Witness sit on the religious fanaticism spectrum?

I wish I could say that was all there is to the story, but it gets worse. How did the discovery of my forgetfulness come about? Lynn and I were on the couch at about 9pm. She was watching the Bachelorette and I was half paying attention and half finishing some presentations I have for work tomorrow. She passes me a note that asks if I would like to forgo our separate rooms and share a fantasy suite for the night. Trying to be responsible I respond just as Jillian did on the show. I respectfully declined citing my desire to keep a clear head for the upcoming rose ceremony. I also make a snide remark that insinuates that the only reason the Bachelorette is declining is because she is nursing a flare up of an STD acquired from her previous stint as a finalist on the Bachelor (note-while probably untrue, these types of remarks are appropriate based on the fact that I am a real life doctor). She chuckles uncontrollably while scribbling a response and then throws the note pad on my chest. Her response – “It is our anniversary, you idiot!”

If you can stand to read any more, it gets even worse. I digress for a moment to make a comparison. I remember the first time I watched the movie Meet My Parents or the British version of the Office. I think that was the first time I was truly exposed to the type of humor that makes you feel completely uncomfortable while you are watching it. This story is along that same vein. As I try to call on some quick goat thinking to get me out of an irreparable situation I recall the events earlier in the day. Lynn and I went to the local hardware store, an almost daily event for us over the past several months while finishing our house. We have recently been working (Lynn more than I) on our landscaping. Lynn has been reading all about the plants that will do well in the environment and selecting a few at a time to plant around our house. What is one of the common purchases for one buying potted plants to transfer to their landscaping? Well, fertilizer of course. What is the point I am getting at?

I bought my wife shit for our 8th anniversary. Literally.

So when I try to count the ways that I love her, I only have to count to one and then I can stop. Why would I need more reasons to love someone who can continue to love me despite my egregious imperfections. She laughed with me as we went over the days events and how many times I should have been queued to its importance. Should our discussions of an exotic vacation to Hawaii or Tahiti not have clued me in? How 'bout the sign at the post office that we stared at for 30 minutes while we waited in line that said " Today is July 6th"? Maybe our planning a "special" day up at Alki park should have done the trick. The elaborate meal she cooked on our new infrared grill? Sad, but no.

She is not mad. I am embarrassed at my ineptitude. How could I possibly make this one up to her? Her and I will have to discuss that in the fantasy suite.

-Westbrook, out!

Patriotism at it's best!

Imagine America The Beautiful playing in the background and if it doesn't draw a tear to your eye, you might not be human. Or red-blooded American, anyway. Pics are worth a thousand words!

The Grass is Greener

We have a yard! No one is allowed to walk/play on it yet (Ben...I saw you taking a short cut across the grass the other day) but it won't be long. This is the grass at two weeks post-seeding. The bottom two photos are one week after. But having a lush lawn means maintenance - something we've never had to worry about ourselves in the past thanks to condo associations and/or having a gardener as part of the rent. First item of business - purchasing a lawnmower - a task that should be easy enough...or is it?

After reading a couple books on lawn care (I recommend "Lawn Geek" by Trey Rogers) and searching the Net I have decided that #1 - I want a lawnmower that mulches. Everything I have read has suggested that leaving clippings on the grass a) returns much needed nutrients to the soil and b) cuts down on the need for watering. It also saves me from having to empty the bag (when mowing as a teenager I never did like to be interupted by a full bag - plus it gets heavy). #2 - I don't really want to deal with getting gas, storing gas and emptying gas when storing for the winter. Or the fumes. #3 - I also don't want to have to wear noise-cancelling ear thingys when mowing the lawn. So this leaves me three choices - a plug-in electric model - nope, don't want to deal with a cord, a battery operated electric mulching mower or a push reel mower (yes they still make these).

I thought I had settled on the second option and found one I liked on Amazon that had good reviews. The downfall of the cordless electric option is a finicky battery that can only charge for so many hours before being ruined and is expensive to replace. So why not a push reel mower - it supposedly gives a great cut and I think I'd get a great workout as well.

I think Ben wants a manly roaring, fuming, self-propelled version. At first we'll probably fight over who gets to mow because we are so excited to have a yard (and b/c we enjoy bickering). But we all know who's going to end up mowing. Oh, we don't all know? My guess is it will be me - since I just stay at home lounging all the time. But, I don't think ladies of leisure are supposed to do yard work...

So I need experience and opinions here - opinions borne of experience. I am happy to hear that at least one friend does actually have and like the cordless electric mower. I consider that to be one vote in favor of option #2. There will be a poll.

Aloha PNX 864

The County of Honolulu Vehicle Licensing Department apparently wants me to get over the idea that maybe I'll have to move back to Hawaii so therefore I should keep my plates, because they aren't taking my calls. Or accepting my written correspondence. I guess they don't want my new address. I even gave them an extra two weeks after my tags expired just in case. Finally, I broke down and applied for WA license plates, trading the rainbow for Mt. Rainer- and upping our collection from different states to six.

On another note, I don't know why I can't keep my car registration and other vehicular matters up-to-date (I take that back - I would never miss an oil change). Last year I was late getting new tags and the year before that I got new ones when we moved to Hawaii but never put the sticker on. I went an entire year with no expiration sticker whatsoever. That same year I also let my license expire - by over two months - which I don't recommend because if your license is expired for more than 40 days you have to take a driving and written test. I found that out the hard way. And to quote the rather scary lady who was in charge of said test "you're lucky I'm going to let you pass, but you won't change your ways anyway". My "ways"? Excuse me, but driving with your knees while applying mascara* takes an extreme amount of skill. She's lucky I don't know how to text.

If I can get away with having expired registration and license without getting in trouble I must not be doing so bad. (For the record the last time I got pulled over was over 10 years ago - which is not perfect - like one of my grandmothers who I think has never been pulled over - but my driving skills are improving with age).


*That's a joke, I would never drive with my knees and apply mascara at the same time.

Happy Fptheus Day Ben.

*This last box of goodies Avery made one night for ben after we all went to sleep. It wasn't for Father's Day but it shows how much Abe's does love her dad.

May Recap

May was rather eventful for us - events that deserve their own posts and definitely pictures. But if I wait till I get around to that I may have forgotten all that transpired. So here are my notes to myself, with aspirations that they will turn into something better in the near future.

First of all - the biggest news - is that we moved into our house. It's been a long time coming and we're in. Lot clearing and construction started on October 31 and we got an occupancy permit on May 13th. Not bad and worth the effort, sacrifice and wait. Once we are unpacked and cleaned up I will post a pictorial tour.

Upon moving in, we promptly packed up and went to California for vacation. We wanted to take advantage of the military offers for free and discounted admission at Disneyland as well as make the rounds with friends and family. We had a great great time and it delayed the unfun job of unpacking for a few weeks. Plus, since Comcast couldn't come to set up our cable for a few weeks, Ben needed to go somewhere to watch those awful basketball games known as the NBA Playoffs - with people who enjoy them just as much as he does.

Ben - Ben is probably the happiest of all of us to be in the new house. He is now closer to work and he has a garage. He scored a sweet deal on a weight bench and is eager to set up his work out facilities out there so that he can stay fit by working out once a month, while the rest of us normal humans have to put in hard time to get the same results. As if that, plus the fact that he can function without sleep, wasn't suspicious enough, he scored insanely high on his annual shelf exam. In one category (head and neck surgery I believe, not tiling and speaker installation like I assumed) he was in the 100th percentile. So among all ENT interns in the U.S. no one got a higher score, that is crazy to me. It also means that next year he has no where to go but down. Overall he did much worse and was like 96th %. For his achievement he received another Army Commendation medal - which luckily I learned about from one of his colleagues, because he probably wouldn't have told me - and he is supposed to get a free "pass" or extra day off, which I believe if he doesn't take soon, he loses. So hopefully we'll take a day trip to celebrate.

Ben also turned the big 3-0 while we were there. This is what he looks like.

Miles - Nothing noteworthy to report.

Avery - Avery had a busy May, with a trip to the ballet and a recital of her own. On Mother's Day weekend we went to see Tchaikovsky's Sleeping Beauty with our friends Amy and Olivia. Afterward we went to a very princessy "tea" where the girls could meet the dancers and the mom's could indulge in yummy food.

Here is a picture of Avery after her recital helping her dad distribute topsoil around the property. The theater the recital was in would not allow photography or video so I only have a video of the dress rehearsal performance. I haven't decided whether it is worth it to post. It's mostly just grandparent material. (I decided to post it on the sidebar temporarily)

Avery also had her big kindergarten doctor appt. I think it's supposed to be the standard five year appt. but I will only go if immunizations are due or if are forced to meet a requirement. She had to get 5 shots. It wasn't a pleasant experience but we survived. Her recent dentist appt. however was a pleasant experience, or at least it seemed like it:

Me: Nothing noteworthy to report.

Alive.

By now I thought we would be sitting in our new house toasting our accomplishments and living it up. But we are just existing - sometimes it feels like we are barely doing that. We are in our new house, but we are all four living in the guest room while the place gets unpacked and put together, the finishes complete and the landscaping started. I spend equal amounts of time cleaning and unpacking, and we have ants. Ugh.

But we do have Internet now and we are alive. Pictures and more to come. If you are really missing us you can check us out on Sara's blog looking rather fantastic if I do say so myself. (I'd like thank Sara for teaching me the proper way to position my head, photoshop and my friends at Allergan...)

April Recap

The April Recap is shaping up to look much like the March recap but I'd better elaborate lest my children think they wasted two months of their childhood at Lowe's (it was really more like 6 months honies).



Ben - I always thought that Ben was a pretty cool guy, but these last few months he has bordered on superhuman. He did a Plastic Surgery rotation where he "makes the world a better place one breast at a time" or is it two at a time...anyhow, you get the picture. So by day he does his reconstruction work and by night he does his construction side jobs. And on more than one occasion he has had to return to the hospital after putting in multiple hours on the house. Tiling, concrete countertops, woodwork etc. There's not much he can't figure out. He even found time to take me to a concert and to dinner on my birthday (separate occasions).


Miles - His big achievement was the potty-training. Which I am sometimes regretting already b/c he wakes up and has to go in the middle of the night and he cries till we wake up to take him, or he has to go a million times when we are running errands for the house (Lowe's has a really nice bathroom by the way - with like 14 stalls - and I've never once seen anyone else in there).


Avery - Continues to simultaneously tire and energize me with questions such as "Why can't we see the dark side of the moon?"



She is the cultural ambassador on our house building projects. One of our painters came to me and said "your daughter speaks Spanish?" Turns out she had be trying out some of her Dora/Handy Manny vocabulary (which does not make someone bilingual) much to the delight of some of the contractors. I also found her about 4 inches from another contractors sons face saying slowly and loudly "I can't understand you. We-don't-speak-the-same-language". His dad was Russian, but I'm pretty sure the kid spoke English.




She's also launched a jewelry line made from leftover electrical wire. Below is one that she recently wore to church.

And she finally decided to give reading a real go and read a Step into Reading Level 1 - Barbie Ballerina book with very little help. Then she announced she was done with reading.

Me - Well between potty training one and getting the other to start reading I'd say I've had a rather successful month. I also turned 31 (yesterday). This is what I look like.

A gift to the earth.

What is more appropriate than a kid becoming completely potty trained* on Earth Day? It's the only gift a little guy, ahem, "big boy" can really give. No more diapers in the landfill from this dude. I was hoping that he would be trained before we moved into the new house but was thinking this might just be wishful thinking. But the Easter Bunny's gift of the undie megapack helped make a mom's pleas reality. At first he wanted to wear about five at a time - I get it, he was used to the padding- now he will wear one or two at a time and if they have a large character on the rear he insists that it go in the front (he's not the only one). Which looks a little uncomfortable to me. But I'm not complaining as long as he is keeping them dry. He's even amazingly waking up dry in the morning - I'm not going to risk going without a pull-up yet though.

His nursery teacher commented that when she took him potty he told her he wanted to stand on the potty to go. Oops, I guess this is what happens when most of your training happens in a porta-potty (at the lot) and now that it is warming up, I have been encouraging the go pee outside method. Yes neighbors - the Westbrooks are moving in...and marking our territory. (At home he stands on a stool and when we are in a public place I hover him over like an airplane)

Binkless and potty trained - now if we could just get him out of our bed at night...

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*Who determined he was completely potty trained? Me, his mother. I am accepting accolades for this achievement (on behalf of Miles of course).

Found in the Sound

U.S.A - 1 Pirates - 0

AP (NAIROBI, Kenya) - Navy SEAL snipers on the fantail of a destroyer cut down three Somali pirates in a lifeboat and rescued an American sea captain on Easter Sunday. The surprise nighttime assault in choppy seas ended a five-day standoff between a team of rogue gunmen and the world's most powerful military.

Yo Ho! Take that. I don't know why but this story just made my day. Yes, I do know why, it's because I'm a news junkie and usually what I read is just sad sad sad. Generally I don't check in much with the computer or TV on weekends but I have been following this story closely because, like polygamists, these modern day pirates intrigue me and I found myself praying for this captains rescue, especially after he escaped once by jumping overboard and was recaptured.

Aside - I know Pirates don't make the best topic for an Easter Sunday entry so if you are desirous of something inspiring of a religious nature, I highly recommend this but read on...

So piracy (on the high seas and not just of digital media) in 2009? What?! I know Johnny Depp made pirate culture cool again but these "rogue" Somali's are taking it too far. I'm sure there are pirates from other countries too but right now the Somali's hold 12 ships and over 230 international mariners hostage*. A few days ago they took a French family that was out sailing hostage and death ensued.

This particular U.S. ship captained by the heroic Mr. Phillips had "been carrying food aid bound for Rwanda, Somalia and Uganda" when "crew members said they saw pirates scrambling into the ship with ropes and hooks from a small boat bobbing on the surface of the Indian Ocean far below". Ropes and hooks? Now all I can picture is Capt. Hook... I'm having a hard time getting out of fantasy land while at the same time understanding the horrific reality of modern real life pirates. Even Hillary Clinton recently chuckled when speaking about the growing threat of pirates. I don't know if she was picturing Depp or Hoffman when she committed her faux pas but we have to switch gears because pirates are now real. When Chelsey recently posted about going on a sailing trip I have to admit that pirates crossed my mind. Hopefully pirates aren't stalking Catalina Island but you never know. Before too long it might not be politically correct to have your kid be a pirate for Halloween or have a pirate themed party.

Aside #2 - For the record Ben has always thought it a crime for to wear pirate/nautical inspired striped shirts and I always get an "Arrrrr" from him if I dare put one on.

Anyhow, I applaud this ships captain who willingly offered himself up to save his crew, his crew - who regained control of their hijacked ship, the Navy Seal snipers who acted swiftly and accurately and Pres. Obama for not negotiating with terrorists of any type (eye-patch or no eye-patch) and for ordering the rescue effort.



* Plus we don't have a great history with this country - remember Black Hawk Down? If you read the book you probably remember the atrocities that occurred in the Somali capital of Mogadishu. If you saw the movie you probably have no idea what was going on. Even if you read the book first then saw the movie you would still have no idea what was going on. It was a terrible movie. But, I also want to say that I feel very sorry for the average - non-violent Somali people, I'm sure they endure many hardships, which I'm sure drives many to piracy and crime to survive.

Easter 2009

The night before Easter. Easter Morning

*The Easter bunny was quite generous this year. Considering that her parents didn't get Avery anything for her b-day (if we take you to Chuck-E-Cheese, that is your present) and the kids have been super patient while their parents slave away at the new house the Easter bunny must have felt it was his/her duty to indulge the children. He brought minimal candy - the Reeses Eggs were for Ben and I got a pack of gum. Wait, let's reverse that. The Easter bunny also must have hit up Target's $6 sale on movies, Barnes and Noble and Lowes for some gardening tools. That smart Easter bunny also brought Miles two packs of manly cartoon underwear which we will find ultimately leads to a very happy and diaper bag free mom.

Easter Miscellany

Cute stuff that came in the mail. The ceramic eggs came from Aunt Britt and they were full of candy but to get it you had to break the egg. This would have been an easy decision for Miles had we let him at it but Avery really suffered over this one. Ultimately hers had an accident and the candy was revealed. Then we poked a hole in Miles' and retrieved the candy out of the back, egg intact. I told Avery I would try to glue her egg back together....someday. The cookies and a box of goodies came from Gma Maggie and another box of goodies came from Gpa Mark makingthis one sweet Easter.

Happy Easter.

Some dates don't have to be marked on a calendar for you to know they are coming. Some you just feel coming. Yesterday was one of those days. Yesterday was 10 years without my littlest sister.

She would be 26 going on 27. She would be a nice person. She'd live near a beach. She would be a cool aunt. She'd still be fast. Other than that I don't know what she would have become by now. She might have gone to culinary school. She probably would have gone to college on a running scholarship. But to me she'll always be sixteen, the last to leave the nest.

Luckily, the memories haven't grown dimmer. I just realize that, while close, the age gap and self-involvement was enough for me not to have had as many memories as one might like. Some of you have memories I don't have, because you were classmates or friends or had a different familial relationship.

The memories I wish I didn't have lie in a box. It's round and has clouds on it. Inside are newspaper articles, an audio tape of the memorial service, a few pictures, a couple letters Ben wrote to her while on his mission, stickers, artwork, a cd, her chapstick. I don't look through it often. Maybe two times in the decade that has passed.

Time doesn't really heal all wounds, it just changes your perspective of the pain. While sad to lose a sister, I think now how exponentially harder it must be to lose a child. This perspective doesn't feel like healing to me. Losing someone close is also a devestating reminder of our own mortality, and thus I live life a little more guarded, if not fearful of sudden tragedy. This might be normal as one matures and grows more aware of the bitterness in the world - but for me will always be tied to a day ten years ago.

When is 60 degrees beach weather?

When you were expecting April to be spring like and when you woke up April 1st to snow. And April 2nd, 3rd and 4th to rain, wind and even a smattering of hail. And when your patience with the weather in the Northwest has just started to grow thin.

That makes sunny and 60 glorious. Flipflops, t-shirts and a few hours outside resulted in the pinkness of sunburn (as opposed to the pinkness of cold and wet skin) and warm feelings all around. What better way to spend a Sunday afternoon between Conference sessions than enjoying God's green earth - along with many other sun-starved humans. The kids even put their feet in the water (It's not that warm - I'm not sure if it ever get's that warm). Avery and I enjoyed it so much that we went back for sunset and low tide and were rewarded with the sight of two seals frolicking in the Sound. I now see the wisdom in the incredible length of the summer day here offset by stubby days of winter dreariness. In other words, wake me up when summer comes.

Avery convinced someone to let her walk their poodle.

Chocolate Sheet Cake.

"You're not going to make that from scratch are you?" Those are the loving words I was greeted with after announcing that I was going to make a cake. A cake I had been thinking about for two days. A cake I ran four miles for, just so I would not feel the least bit of guilt when I indulged. A cake I had to buy a new pan for because the other is in storage*

(I apologize in advance to any Catholic, Lutheran or other friends honoring Lent** by giving up chocolate. Or if you are on a chocolate-free diet. You may just want to skip to a post that won't stir any passions - may I suggest "Choosing Paint")

I defiantly continued to pull out the flour and cocoa from the cupboard. I was going to make it from scratch - despite my dismal baking record. It's only dismal from Ben's perspective anyhow. I have quite liked the things I make. But I can see why, maybe he wouldn't like my desserts. First of all, I don't bake often so maybe he's mad at me about that. When I do bake, I just can't bring myself to take the time to measure exactly. But I've found that if you say "close enough" when you pour the baking soda into the palm of your hand and toss it in that things generally work out fine.*** The most egregious of my baking sins however, is my need to add things to the recipe. Generally to increase the nutrition. Things like ground flax seeds and wheat germ tend to find their way into the bowl, even when I promise myself I will follow the recipe exactly. I just can't help it. And I should probably just stick to making granola bars.

But I'm glad I made the cake. And judging from the seconds and thirds that Ben had (darn him and his never expanding waistline) he was pretty grateful himself. So without further ado here is the recipe I stole from The Pioneer Woman. It won't be the last.

Pioneer Woman Chocolate Sheet Cake

Combine in a mixing bowl:
2 cups flour
2 cups sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt

In a saucepan, melt:
2 sticks butter
Add 4 heaping tablespoons cocoa.

Stir together.

Add 1 cup boiling water, allow mixture to boil for 30 seconds, then turn off heat.
Pour over flour mixture, and stir lightly to cool.

In measuring cup, pour 1/2 cup buttermilk.

Add:
2 beaten eggs
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon vanilla

Stir buttermilk mixture into butter/chocolate mixture.

Pour into sheet cake pan and bake at 350-degrees for 20 minutes.
While cake is baking, make icing:
Chop 1/2 cup pecans finely.

Melt 1 3/4 sticks butter in a saucepan.
Add 4 heaping tablespoons cocoa, stir to combine, then turn off heat.

Add:
6 tablespoons milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 lb minus 1/2 cup powdered sugar (whatever that comes out to...?)

Stir together.
Add pecans, stir together, and pour over warm cake.
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So I did use white 100% whole wheat flour (Trader Joes has a good one) and I thought it tasted a little wheatie at first but after it cooled it was unnoticeable. The cake isn't the point in this recipe anyway, it's the frosting. And since it was so healthy the four of us ate the whole thing in under 24 hours.



* My first choice was to make this cake- http://ugapo.blogspot.com/2009/03/molten-chocolate-cake-recipeheaven-on.html, but my ramekins are in storage and I figured an extra jelly roll pan will be more useful. But when I unpack I will be making this.

**I just learned how long the Lenten period is - I don't know why I always thought it was just one or two weeks. But 40 days (now I get the symbolism)plus x number of Sundays (46 days total this year) of going without whatever - that is quite a sacrifice - which I do realize is the point.

***Check before you use this method. The crook of my palm is a perfect teaspoon, yours may not be. ;)

March Recap