Looking rather gay!

At church a few weeks ago, during the Sacrament (the quietest and most reflective time of the service), Avery leaned over to me and says:

"Mom, I know there are two meanings to the word gay...and I don't know what one of them is... but I do know the other and boy Cruz sure is looking gay right now. (Cut to Cruz who is looking extremely extremely happy).


Here he is looking the other meaning.




*Note: It is very surprising to me that Avery, ever curious and wanting to know all, would not want to know (or insist on knowing) what the other 'gay' is. That wasn't the moment to discuss it (although I'm sure that the two lesbian sisters a few rows back wouldn't have minded) and I tried to bring it up another time when it seemed appropriate but she didn't seem interested. So, I guess we will shelve that conversation for another day.

Hymnbook for the modern LDS child.

Avery's Book o' Hymns 2008. She had me make this not this previous summer but the one before that. I found it and photographed it when we were moving. I'm sure that this compilation of religious and secular songs under a familiar green cover could be offensive to some. The humor outweighs the sacrilege to me but frankly, I'm afraid to ask her what songs she might like to add to it now.

She started off in the right spirit with Mormon primary favorites such as I am a Child of God and I Love to See the Temple then lifted the tempo a bit with a favorite among contemporary protestant youth groups Our God is an Awesome God. Naturally a Black-Eyed Peas song such as Pump-It was to follow. Her final selections were retro: Elton John's Bennie and the Jets, Talking Heads Psycho Killer (don't worry grandma it's not as bad as it sounds. plus this one has a special place in my heart because avery's dad is ADORABLE when he sings it and brings back memories of our honeymoon road trip up the california coast). No book o' hymns is complete without a little Aloha Oe pasted in the back cover as it were when we lived overseas so that about rounds it out. A little something for everyone.

*I am not a musician and so the notage on the songs is not accurate. So please don't try to play any of these songs from the pages above. :)

Not that kind of Thank You.

Scenerio: I have just vacuumed the floor of crumbs in the kitchen. I am helping Avery soak her rose plant overnight. She tries to help by transferring clumps of soil from one side of the sink to the other. It gets all over the floor.

Me: Oh Avery! Thanks a lot.

Avery: I'm sorry.

Me again: I just cleaned the floor. You should ask before you do something like that.

Silence. A few seconds pass.

Avery: Mom, I know what you meant when you said "thanks a lot". You didn't mean thanks a lot like when you are smiling. You meant the kind of thanks a lot you say with a mad face. It doesn't mean the same thing.

Anger Diffused.

G-Y-Z...

I had cut up some soda cans into small squares of aluminum for an activity I did with my primary boys (having them try to engrave words with a nail into the metal to show how difficult it would be to keep a record in this manner - bits of raw-edged aluminum, nails and 10 year old boys...yeah, safe I know). I had a few pieces left over and Avery wanted to use it to make a mini Book of Mormon. She folded it in half and cut out some pieces of paper that would fit inside (she's lucky I let her use scissors considering that she has trimmed both her own bangs and her brothers cowlicks in recent weeks with less than stellar results but that's beside the point) she called me in because she needed some help writing her cover page.

She said, "Mom, can you help me spell 'Jesus'? I only got the first letters: G-Y-Z...

------

This reminds me of my favorite card that Miles got for his birthday. It was a handmade gem from Aubrey A., it reads To Miols. Which is exactly how it sounds. English might be a really hard language to learn considering what little sense our alphabet makes phonetically.

Believe

Ben: Avery - would you please sit on my feet while I do sit-ups?

Avery: (starts to comply then changes mind) Dad, you can do it without me. I can do it, see. (displays ability)

Ben: Please Avery. I need your help.

Avery: Dad. (places her hand on his knee and looks him in the eye)
Dad, I want you to believe in your destiny. I want you to believe that you are strong enough. I want you to believe that you can do sit-ups without me sitting on your feet.

(Conversation over)

Opposites

When we are driving around town we like to play the "opposite" game. We take turns challenging each other to find the opposite of the word we come up with. For instance - I say "dark" the answer is "light". I say "smooth" the opposite is "rough". I say "slow" the answer is "fast". I say .... oh what- you think you get it already...it's a pretty hard game, I'm not sure you can grasp the concept in just so few examples but anyway, I'll assume you catch on quick.

Avery is pretty good at the game but she outdid herself recently. We threw her an easy one - "fat". Her answer - "tan". The opposite of fat is tan! Of course! We all know that nothing trims you up like a golden glow. An unknowing mistake on her part, but a factual one nonetheless.