GO WORLD.

Beijing Olympics Week One. In no particular order a collection of highlights, observations, questions, quotes etc. (Because that's all we've been doing this week - as you can tell by the length of the list)

1. The men's 400 free relay/Jason Lezak. Hands down, the best Olympic -come from behind -proud to be and American and not French moment in all of history. Not only were two world records broken and the fasted relay split ever clocked in this race, the celebrating by the team (especially you-know-who) was, well, epic.

2. Janos Baranyai dislocating his elbow. There are video and pictures out there in cyberspace. If you are looking for a reason to lose your appetite, or possibly your lunch, just Google his name.

3. The U.S. women going 1-2-3 in the sabre. Who knew we were good at fencing?

I must admit that I am confused by the scoring (and the screaming - I'm pretty sure that it's a blunt edge they are working with) I took a semester of fencing in college and I still didn't get it - but GO USA!

4. Park Tae-Hwan of South Korea winning the men's 400 freestyle - not because he is the first Korean to win a swimming medal but because of his embarrassing and disappointing false-start in the 2004 Games. Redemption is sweet!

5. The American National Anthem being cut short during Michael Phelps' first Gold Medal ceremony. Oops. On a side note - Ben says that Michael Phelps should have his own anthem. I think it would sound something like the Jaws theme - Da Dum...

6. Raj Bhavsar being referred to by one of the NBC commentators as the "spiritual leader" of the US group of men's gymnasts. What? Because he's Indian? Because he does yoga? I know this seems like a lame observation but this is just one example of their contrived and dramatic comments, yes I'm talking about you Tim, Elfi, and Al. Mostly Al, who knows nothing about the sport, but I suppose he has a good commentating voice.

7. On the other hand, Bela Karolyi, a conspiracy theorist in his own right, I could listen to him make stuff up all night. My favorite quote so far (in reference to the Chinese gymnasts being underage)- "Look at them, they have the little bitty baby teeth," said Bela. "It's as big a problem as doping. It's a slap in the face to the whole world. Shame on them, but there's nothing you can do about it." Makes me want to go out and rent the movie "Nadia".

8. Question - How can the gymnasts do their beam routines while the other competitors awful floor music is playing?

9. Kerri Walsh losing her wedding ring during a beach volleyball match. Finally someone with a metal detector found something! In return the lucky finder got a "customary beach volleyball love pat" on his derriere.

10. In other derriere patting news, although invited, President Bush declines to pat Misty May-Treanor's bikini-clad rear-end and awkwardly brushes her back instead. None of us would have faulted you George for going for it, we've all admired (wished for) the beach volleyball players physique (except for the Belgian team - one too many after practice chocolates perhaps ladies?) Or maybe he was just holding out for an invite from Kerri Walsh instead?

11. I almost hate to bring this up because I think China has put on an amazing Olympics but it's part of the first weeks highlights for me - "Chinese girl not 'pretty' enough for opening ceremonies". Yet another lip-synching scandal. I think both girls are cute. Judge for yourself here.

12. Not so cute however, are the beach volleyball cheerleaders. "Part cheerleader, part go-go dancer, the beach babes -- "shatan baobei" in Chinese -- writhe and jiggle to blaring rock and disco music in bathing suits that would make their prudish Communist elders roll in their graves. "All of us in China have paid a lot to stage these Olympics and tanning my skin brown is part of that effort," said Wang Hui, one of five Chinese women chosen to dance with veteran Spanish cheerleaders at Beijing's 12,200-seat Chaoyang Park stadium" I had to look them up because I kept getting glimpses of some pretty bad dancing when NBC would go to commercial.

13. Favorite Bob Costas Quotes. "If you were wondering if Michael Phelps is good enough to do it with his eyes closed -- the answer is apparently yes."

"They want to kill you, but do so respectfully" - ref. Walsh/May-Treanor's view of opponents.

I can't remember the exact quote (in other words I didn't have a handy notepad to write it down) but there was a funny exchange between Bob and Mary Carillo after she met the world's tallest man. Something about after her meeting him and then coming over to chat with Bob - getting the bends (decompression sickness). You know, because Bob is short. It was funny at the time.

14. Eat. Swim. Sleep. Add to that - be interviewed by Andrea Kramer* and be "at a loss for words". Again, and maybe for the last time, I'm talking about M.P. He is amazing, awesome and again, "epic". Although his body is a bit freakishly disproportionate - He is the greatest swimmer of all time. I do have a problem with him being dubbed the "greatest olympic champion of all time" (buy the DVD now at NBC.com). What other athletes get to go for 8 medals in one Olympic games? Male gymnasts maybe but that's about it. Is my favorite moment when he out-fingertipped Cavic (the Serbian who was born in Anaheim and raised in Tustin?)to win the 100 fly. Probably. Would I now recognize his mother and sisters anywhere. Yes. (Would I have recognized Mark Spitz without his stars and stripes speedo and his mustache? No. ) Did I love watching his coach Bob Bowman's hips undulating along with Michaels while watching from the pool deck during the fly race? Hilarious. Thank you M.P. for all of the wonderful moments. Unfortunately you have no where to go but to disappear into obscurity for the next four years with your millions of dollars of endorsements. Enjoy.

*not be be confused with the gymnastics interviewer Andrea Joyce - I thought they were the same person, but no, just equally poor interviewers

Week One Olympic Crush - Aaron Piersol.

Second runner-up - Bob Bowman.

What have been your favorite week one moments?